How to Be Alone, or Becoming Supergirl

One year and two months ago I moved myself to Nashville.

I had two friends, no job, and no idea how to file my own taxes.

I also feared my car would blow up.

Since then, I have worked at a restaurant, been fired from said restaurant, started a small business, built a strong network of friends, and learned that no, my car probably won’t spontaneously combust.

What I learned in the past year was how to be alone

and do things for myself like check my oil, and haul kayaks on my car-

without expecting a prince to sweep me up when I turn the corner.

You see, life is weird and HARD.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

Like how to change a flat, undertstand a lease agreement, or why I needed to file a W-9.

I also didn’t know the power and STRENGTH of my own heart.

I spent my first couple of months in Nashville “accidentally” falling in love, and purposely looking for a distraction to fall back out. I was missing the big picture. Maybe I was afraid of it. For my whole teenage and young adult life, I had eagerly devoured chick flicks and late night conversations, longing for the handsome man waiting around the corner to rescue me in my distress. Romanticization is a part of our culture, but those ideas bother me now because they suggest that falling in love is the ONLY thing.

I think relationships are nice, but not necessary.

And in the past year, I’ve learned how to be alone.

And I am ROCKING it.

When I was little, I used to try to “swim” in the shallow end, and I remember popping my head up from under the water, asking my mom if I had done it. Her answer was always, “No, you weren’t swimming.” It wasn’t until my dad took me to the river and let go of my arm when I couldn’t stand that I learned. Since then, I’ve swum in oceans, lakes, and raced across a river to the waterfall, just to prove that I can.

Moving to Nashville was like that.

I had to reject the idea that I needed to cling to someone else-that I would drown if I let go of someone I thought I needed to save me.

So I did let go and jumped in with my whole heart and understood how to love myself. I embraced my church family, and said “yes” to coffee dates with new friends. I made plans on the weekends, even if there was no one to join me. I didn’t know until a few months ago that I love kayaking, hiking, and biking, and I crave the outdoors and mountaintops. I love my job, and I love that I have a friend whose house sits on the opposite end of my sidewalk, and others who I call family. I love living-truly living life in this town, and that I don’t have to have a #mancrushmonday to enjoy it.

I generally think couples are weird, but don’t get me wrong- I know relationships are a wonderful thing. But I also know I don’t need one for

  • Validation
  • Security
  • Car maintenance
  • Hanging curtains
  • Love
  • Acceptance
  • Contentment
  • Truly LIVING

And the list goes on. I’m starting a blog that walks through my year and teaches about all the things I learned to do alone.

But really I prefer the term “self-sufficient”

or Supergirl.

Life is scary, but it’s more fun when you’re not afraid of the currents  and the deep end. To follow me on my journey and learn how to do the things I (stubbornly) learned the hard way, comment with “I’m in” and I’ll add you.  

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2 thoughts on “How to Be Alone, or Becoming Supergirl

  1. I think knowing how to be alone is one of the absolute best skills a woman can have. It’s really not something that is on the radar for life skills, but those of us who’ve figured it out are STRONG and better women for it.

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